Ep 7 Resilience in Business: Navigating Challenges with Samantha Hearne

Welcome to another compelling episode of the Design Boss Dialogue podcast! I'm your host, Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui, and today, we are diving into the theme of resilience with the incredible Samantha Hearne. 
Find Samantha Hearne's website here: 
https://www.samanthahearnecoaching.com/

Find Samantha Hearn's Instagram here:
https://www.instagram.com/_samanthahearne_/?hl=en


This conversation isn't just about the interior design industry; it's about navigating the broader challenges that come with running a business and being a mother.

We discuss how resilience is personal and varies depending on the situation, whether it’s tackling massive projects, dealing with sick children, or managing everyday setbacks like car troubles or health issues. Samantha emphasises that beyond those big moments when you're called to step up, there's a baseline level of resilience that every woman, especially mothers and business owners, needs to cultivate. This baseline resilience helps you keep going even when results aren't immediate or things get tough.

Throughout this episode, we explore how maintaining momentum, building confidence, and finding ways to make progress in other areas can help you cope when life throws you a curveball. We share insights on how to pull through on those days when nothing goes as planned, and you feel like giving up. Samantha provides valuable advice on how to adapt, find that extra grit within yourself, and ensure that progress and success remain achievable, even in the face of adversity.

Join us for this powerful discussion on resilience, and discover how to harness your inner strength to overcome challenges in your business and personal life. 

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Transcript

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (00:01.76)
Welcome Sam to today's podcast. I'm so excited to have you on.

Samantha Hearne (00:06.56)
Thank you for having me.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (00:08.514)
Isn't this lovely? love it. Sam, I wanted to talk to you today about resilience, not just across obviously the interior design industry, but across business in general. And just to talk about how we as business women and mothers, because we have children around the same age, how we can successfully adapt to situations and challenges that arise in business.

Samantha Hearne (00:39.276)
Yeah, for sure. think the first thing that's really important is resilience is completely personal. So of course you have some people that you need resilience in your life because you're going through a traumatic time. So there's a different level of resilience that you would need in your life based on if you are experiencing, for example,

massive projects and things are changing if you are experiencing children that are sick, if you're experiencing your car breaking down, if you're experiencing perimenopause, like there's different levels of resilience that you need based on what's happening in your life. But I would say outside of that and outside of those big moments where you're almost being invited to step up and you're having to kind of really, really find that grit within yourself, there is a baseline of resilience that I believe allows any woman to

execute and create success. So baseline resilience is your ability to keep going even before you see a result or when things don't feel easy yet or when you're trying to do something new and if you're in interior design so much of what you do is based on creatives but it's also based on so many other people other people doing their job like there's so many moving parts so I think in order for any woman a mum to be able to

create progress, build momentum and actually end up with results that they are happy with, you have to have a baseline of resilience that's just in the tank. And there is that extra level of resilience that you call on when, you know, life throws you the curve ball.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (02:12.705)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (02:20.578)
think it's like when the shit hits the fan in the industry, you're like, God, right, where do I pull out this extra resilience? Because I think we've all been there in business where, you know, something doesn't happen the way it should happen, or the day starts off really bad, or you have a really bad night and you're at home with a sick child, you've got to find a way through, don't you?

Samantha Hearne (02:23.808)
Yes.

Samantha Hearne (02:31.626)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (02:44.726)
Hmm.

Samantha Hearne (02:51.702)
think the thing is you could not find a way through but I think you'd end up feeling worse. know, like of course you could say, right, I'm going to down tools, I'm going to just call today quits, I just can't do it. And that's okay by the way, we all have those times. But if that was the default every time, I think you'd actually end up feeling worse because nothing would move, no progress would be made in any area of your life. And I think when something goes wrong in a way I can't control, whether it is my daughter being unwell,

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (02:56.972)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (03:21.448)
me being unwell, whatever the situation, the thing that makes me feel better is if I feel like I can make progress or make an impact in another area. So I would say yeah you do kind of have to find a way to do something because otherwise everything just crumbles because you know because we need the break but if we have the break and it all crumbles at some point you've got to start picking it back up again.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (03:29.376)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (03:41.281)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (03:45.322)
Yeah, you've got to almost put the balls back in the basket and carry on. And I think it's the way I look at it is so when a certain situation or a challenge arises, and mind you, I've only started looking at this particular way most probably over the last five years. If a situation or challenge presents itself, I think, okay, well, this is an opportunity for growth.

Samantha Hearne (03:48.758)
Totally. Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (04:15.318)
So how am I going to navigate this, regardless of how hard it might be or uncomfortable it feels? Let me find the resilience to work through this because there'll be a learning curve at the end of it.

Samantha Hearne (04:31.212)
Mm.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (04:33.076)
and it's really finding how you adapt and I think when you're in those situations I think those situations present themselves to also sometimes teach you certain things as well.

Samantha Hearne (04:51.21)
Yeah, for sure. just think it's so easy that when you're young, you're at school or you're in education and everything's a lesson, isn't it? know, like every week you're learning something new and you're exposed to something new. But it's so easy as an adult to forget that life is a lesson. It's so easy to just think because now I'm an adult and I've got a house and I've got a car and I've got a mortgage and I've got a job and I've got responsibilities. That's the end of it. And we just take for granted that our life then becomes a lot more.

monotone is that it becomes a lot more predictable, it becomes a lot more adult. You know, we don't have so many nights out with our friends, we're not doing so much about meeting new people, we're not dating, we're not going on girls holidays and meeting randoms on holiday. There's a level of exposure to newness that we stop having as an adult and especially once you get to an age and you've got kids and you've got a business, so much of your life is, you crave the stability.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (05:24.256)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (05:37.089)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (05:44.598)
But then we almost forget that just because things are stable doesn't mean that we know everything or everything stays the same. It doesn't. So everything is always going to be a lesson. It's just positioned in a different way. At school, we're happy to not know anything and be like, okay, but I've never learned this before. And we're happy to be a beginner.

on holidays when you've never been on holiday, you're happy to be like, this is my first holiday and I don't know what I'm doing. But as soon as we get to like 30 or we've got a kid, we've got a business, we're like, I should know everything. I should have it all down. I should know how to tick all these boxes. Well, that's just not real life. Like you just can't know everything all the time. So I agree. Everything is always a lesson. We just forget that it's a lesson and presume and put pressure on ourselves that we're meant to know everything all of the time, which is just not

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (06:02.721)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (06:14.102)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (06:18.487)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (06:32.393)
sustainable. it's not realistic.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (06:34.658)
think we also put, especially as women, a huge amount of pressure on ourselves. As the businesswoman, the wife, the partner, the mother, the home, carer, the giver, everything in that realm, we do put a huge amount of pressure and it's also about when situations do arise.

It's about giving us the grace and the time to say, okay, let's just take a step back and reevaluate the situation as well. And we don't need to go into it guns blazing, 100%. Like it doesn't need to be reactive. We can stop and consider everything as well. How do you deal with reactions or situations in your business?

from a resilient point of view.

Samantha Hearne (07:33.792)
Yeah, I think as well, before I do that, I'm just gonna go back to what you said about the fact that as women we do kind of navigate all of the things, know, whether it is like being the home, the caregiver, the provider, the wife, the partner, the business owner. If you really, if you look at it, the narrative of a woman has changed so much in the last, you know, 200 years and what our job and our role is in society has completely changed. So a woman that had ambition,

back in even a hundred years ago when we couldn't vote was seen as a huge threat. know, we had no rights really. We couldn't vote. We couldn't do, we couldn't really have a voice outside of one of our primary roles, which of course is a gift, is, you know, the caregiver. So that is a role that even in the modern day is still an expectation of a woman, you know, the caregiver, the homestead, the constant.

But what has changed is our ability to see the power of women, whether that is in jobs, whether that is in politics, whether that is in the environment, whether it's in business. So essentially what's happened for the women is we've grown as a narrative, like we've got this now big new role, but we're still expected to do the role that we were doing. So of course there's only one of us to go around. So the reason there is this kind of added pressure is

not only do I want to be the caregiver and I want to be able to look after my kids and my home and my husband wife partner, not only do I want to do that but I also have ambition, I have goals I want to achieve and I have drive and you know a hundred years ago you weren't allowed to execute that so you're kind of navigating as an ambitious compassionate whole woman you are navigating how do I find and fit into all of these roles and

do my best in all of them, which is why there's the pressure because there is no answer to that. There is no way a woman can know fully how to navigate all of these things because it is still so new. Like even if think 100 years is not a long time. So there isn't, there isn't a huge benchmark. You know, there's not that much to compare, you know, in terms of like historical figures of women, you know, powerful women, that that's all still being written.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (09:28.831)
you

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (09:43.103)
No, exactly.

Samantha Hearne (09:55.338)
you know, and that's all still being created. So to go to the next part when you said, you know, what do I do? Or how do I navigate difficult situations? I think for me, the thing that has always mattered to me is I think in a past life I was probably a suffragette or something because I can't stand the idea that I don't have the choice to do what a man could do.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (10:15.746)
You

Samantha Hearne (10:24.682)
Like I just think if Luke, that's my husband, if Luke could do something, I want to be able to do it. Not that I would, I just want the choice. So a lot of my resilience when it comes to business or when things go wrong or the household or sickness or kids and all of that is, all I really want is to have the same choice as the man. And if the man can choose to go to work and be like, see ya, not that I would ever do that, but I do want to feel like...

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (10:25.035)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (10:50.186)
Yes!

Samantha Hearne (10:54.964)
I want to feel like there's a little bit more of an even keel to it. So a lot of my resilience comes from my fire around, well hang on a minute, I want to be seen, I want to be acknowledged, I want to be brought into the conversation. And sometimes, yeah, of course you have to fight a little bit for that and that's draining sometimes, obviously, and any woman listening to this will know that, you know. But I think it's important.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (11:21.122)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (11:23.724)
that's where it comes from for me. Like the only reason that I try to keep going or bounce back or keep doing things or moving forward is because I don't ever want to not be in a conversation or ever in recognition of, okay, but Sam is capable of that or Sam could do that or Sam's got the potential for this or Sam's got the ability to do X, Y and Z. I just basically want to keep the conversation and the awareness going that I'm here.

like whatever's going on, I'm still here, I'm gonna be at the table and I'm gonna fucking eat here. So that's sort of where I... Yeah, exactly, yeah. I just think I still wanna have a seat here. And that can sound a little bit combative, however, or it can sound a bit masculine and kind of like authority piece. However, as an ambitious woman who is trying to create both,

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (11:55.286)
Yeah, I'm not leaving without the plate being cleaned.

Samantha Hearne (12:20.02)
I think the biggest thing that I fight for is my dreams. So I'm not trying to trigger or be triggering to anyone or try and create kind of confrontation. But what I am doing is if I don't fight for what I want, if I don't advocate for me, if I don't put me first, if I don't say that I wanna do this, if I don't make my dreams matter, no one else will do that. And then you just, I it doesn't.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (12:24.578)
again.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (12:47.339)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (12:49.864)
very long-winded way of saying essentially my resilience comes from the fact that I just want to fight for what I want my future to look like and sometimes you have to do that in a much more authoritative way and sometimes it can be more calm and easeful but yeah when the chips are down I will you know make more chips I won't

I won't pick ones off the floor, I'll make new ones. So that's the thing, what can you do to be resourceful? What can you do to be recognised for the fact that you are capable? You know, that matters to me.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (13:17.43)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (13:25.826)
And yeah, think it's so many women will relate to that in that position of wanting to fight for choice, to have that seat at the table and be like, well, hold on a second, do I not get an opinion here? I think there will also be a lot of women that will have been suppressed in situations like that. if a curve ball is...

thrown into a situation in their business such as maybe they've got sick children at home or there's a situation it's almost like without second nature and I know it happens in our household it's like the other half of the household makes lunch leaves a bye see you later I'll be home at six and you're like hold on a second am I expected to have a day off like

why? So there'll be a lot of women I think listening to this relating to your side as well as listening thinking no I am going to step up into 2025 and have a more empowered voice and I am going to change my narrative to have more choice for myself so that in situations that I need

look at resilience or how I bounce back or how I control the situation or whatever, I'm going to step up into that because I think every woman should be allowed to do that regardless of the balance of the household.

Samantha Hearne (15:01.554)
sure and I think that what matters most is anyone listening to this and including you and you and I our kids are everything you know like I've fought a long time to even have a child so you know it took me a long time to get her and I went through IVF and that was a whole situation so there's make absolutely no mistake that she is my entire world and I'm so obsessed with her it's actually sickening right however

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (15:08.725)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (15:26.294)
I love it though.

Samantha Hearne (15:28.074)
Yeah, I love it, right? I'm absolutely obsessed with her. The kid has the bougiest life and I'm totally here for it. I absolutely am so obsessed with that little cherub. Now, what comes with that is what I want to teach her. Now, here's the other thing. She will always want me when she's sick and same with the boys. Like, of course, when they're sick, it is an instinct. It's an instinct of a child to want to be where they were held safe.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (15:49.034)
Yeah, they want their mummy.

Samantha Hearne (15:56.552)
Obviously. Now that is something that we will, as women, we don't want to change that. Of course, we looked after them, we grew them, they lived in us, they felt our heartbeat, they went to sleep to our heartbeat. Of course when they're sick, they want to be with the person that, you know, and if you didn't have biological children, the person that fed them at night, the person that held them in their arms, their warmth, they want that. So if you have a child and you are their default, you're their safe space.

And that's a privilege, not a burden. And I 100 % believe that. However, what's really important for me is I do everything at 110%. Now, I always get told I need to slow down and blah, blah. However, how much I am obsessed with my child, I also have that obsession with my business and my success. And...

when she was sick, she's only really been sick this one time, to be honest. It's quite new for us, like she's two, but she's just never really been ill. So when it happened, it was like, wow, this is terrible. But in our household, I said to Luke, we're gonna have to, it was on my work days. And of course, same with interior design. When you have clients and they're booked in, it's not as easy to reschedule them because they have other commitments, they have other business, they have other contracts. So it's not like I could have said to all of my 20 clients,

right let's move to Thursday Friday because they've got their businesses to run so I said to Luke we're going to have to find a balance here I will move my morning calls move my lunchtime calls so she can nap at home she can have me in the morning and then can you come home early from work so that you can be here for dinner time and snuggle on the sofa and bedtime and Luke's done every bedtime since since she was born he's always done bedtime unless he's been away so that routine is quite normal in our house so

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (17:44.342)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (17:45.502)
So obviously, if you are listening to this and you've got all these clients and they're taking you seriously and you're being seen as a professional and you've finally got your foot in the door and then something happens that reminds the world that you're a woman, I'm not being funny. If they don't want to accept the fact that you're gonna give as much to your job and your business and your clients as you would to your child, they are not the right clients to have because it should be your choice and your prerogative.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (18:07.863)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (18:12.63)
to decide what you wanna do. If you decide you wanna completely shut down and look after your kids, your clients should be completely understanding about that because they would want that reciprocation. But if you do say, can we tweak it? Can we move it? Can we find adaptations? I think the bottom line here is women should have more autonomy of what they do in crisis rather than just being expected to pick everything up. Because it's a huge burden for a woman as well emotionally. It's not like you're there just like totally robust to life.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (18:38.347)
yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (18:41.792)
Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (18:42.206)
You have to have a minute to be like, need to breathe and like, what?

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (18:46.07)
Yeah. And it's about self care as well in those situations because, you know, like you said, you fire off on all cylinders when kids are unwell and it's so difficult to keep things running. But actually you're the glue that holds everything together sometimes. And it's also about the self care within that. And like you just said, you know, we aren't, we aren't these super

Samantha Hearne (18:50.038)
Hmm.

Samantha Hearne (19:06.537)
Mm-hmm.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (19:16.486)
robust, right, let's ready, like hit me with everything. We're still human at the end of the day. We still have our divine feminine side as much as we can be powerful business women and there is a masculinity to that. We also, when the curtains come down, it can be very, very vulnerable. And like you say,

Samantha Hearne (19:24.044)
100%.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (19:41.28)
I suppose that is a whole new conversation with aligned clients in your business and if you have the right clients, they will understand and wait and make business easier.

Samantha Hearne (19:51.766)
course.

Samantha Hearne (19:55.414)
I think resilience as well is seen sometimes as like being a fighter or having that kind of like strength to go to war. But sometimes resilience is just having the ability to decide what you want in the moment and advocate for it. know, like resilience can be, look, this is where I'm at and this is what I need, or this is what I'm gonna do, or this is how I'm gonna move forward. Resilience is a mindset as much as it is an action that people see you kind of like.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (20:10.679)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (20:18.775)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (20:21.522)
rising and like doing the thing. It's a mindset, it's a choice, it's a way of being and having resilience just essentially means that you will always try and find a solution. That's being resilient, like how can I make this work? How can I find a solution? What needs to be done? You're a solution-based thinker, not a problem-based thinker. That at its core is resilience I think.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (20:40.874)
Yeah. Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (20:46.112)
And I think that that is an art form in itself to be able to very quickly look at a situation and how are you going to adapt? What's going to happen and move? How does the week look? How are you going to slot everything back into place? What needs priority? What needs moved? How things need juggled around? And then to be able to slip back into the normal, maybe week after or whatever.

Samantha Hearne (21:04.726)
Hmm.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (21:15.234)
That is an art form in itself because it's so easy, like you said at the beginning of this conversation, to throw the towel in and say, well, do you know what? I'm just not gonna deal with today and today's just not gonna happen. And it doesn't change anything apart from add to the workload, add to the stress, and add to the burden the next day. It's almost the easy way out. Yeah, no one's gonna do it for you.

Samantha Hearne (21:35.658)
Yeah, because no one's doing it for you.

Samantha Hearne (21:41.325)
Yeah, no one does a food shop in my house if I don't do it. So stuff like that. Like sometimes you just can't add more stuff to your workload because you've already got everything else to do. So you think, is it easier to do it? And that's the thing you have to weigh up. Is it easier to do it or to wait? And sometimes it will be to wait and sometimes it will be to keep going. And that's what I mean with resilience as a mindset. It's about you finding the solutions that you feel will actually help. know, that's important.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (21:45.388)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (21:50.145)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (22:06.486)
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Going back to the food shop. It is. It's such a, if, if one thing doesn't get done, it can also throw the whole week out. And I sometimes feel in my business, I would love to walk in and have the meal prep done and the fridge done and the planning done and actually not think about it for a week because that can be a huge juggle in itself.

Samantha Hearne (22:18.742)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (22:35.456)
with a business woman and adapting to situations and juggling their business and how you also keep all of those balls up in the air.

Samantha Hearne (22:46.346)
Yeah, my to-do list is like my saving grace.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (22:50.453)
work through it like t-

Samantha Hearne (22:51.084)
if it's not on my to-do list. Yeah, Icado is on my to-do list every week. it's not on my to-do list, Christmas shopping, what I'm buying people, if it's not on the list, it's not happening. So I just don't have the mental bandwidth to retain that.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (22:55.585)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (23:00.904)
Yeah. Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (23:06.708)
Yeah, I'm the exact same. And I found by carving, actually having things a lot more structured and carved out in certain task formats on certain days when things get done. I mean, we're coming down to mundane things like washing kids clothes and adult clothes and food shopping and present buying and all of those things. I carve time out in the diary now to try and do it so that

it's actually ticked off the list and done. Otherwise, like you say, it never gets done. And then when the shit does hit the fan and something happens, everything can actually get slotted in so much more easier because it's actually, you can see everything on a plain sight. Doesn't. I think so many women are going to be listening to this going, yep, I hear you. understand you.

Samantha Hearne (23:55.71)
Exactly.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (24:05.258)
I'm in the exact same boat. So really the learning, it does and I...

Samantha Hearne (24:08.488)
It just makes such a difference. It is, and it's like essentially we're all in this together.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (24:14.25)
Yeah, yeah, we are. And I think it comes back down to also having a really supportive tribe around you. I'm so much about the women and the community that you have around you so that when you do have situations like this, you can lean in on certain people within your business, within your personal life.

so that you do have that strong tribe of women to sometimes just get you through if it's voice notes, words of advice, others to step into certain things. So yeah, it's about all being together in it.

Samantha Hearne (24:57.676)
100 % you and that's that's the other thing. I think it's just important to know that you know everyone whether they share it publicly or not has their own things to navigate and It's worth remembering that you know, like when you do feel like you're in the like depths of hell You'll never be if you're the only person going through it in that moment. You are not the only person that's ever been through it

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (25:08.491)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (25:21.866)
So being exposed to other women is really important because you'll realize that you're never truly alone and you're never the first one. Someone's done or navigated what you are struggling with, whether it's in business or personal, there's always someone that's got a piece of advice or got something to share. And that's why we need collaboration as we have to, we have to be able to collaborate and talk and network and be around others and be exposed to different experiences and people and advice and knowledge and

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (25:22.242)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (25:41.388)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (25:51.2)
thought processes, you know, because otherwise you do, you become very, very isolated with your own beliefs and that's not good for your mental health and it's not good for your self-confidence and it's not good for your wellbeing to feel like you have to do everything on your own.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (25:57.345)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (26:05.878)
Yeah, I especially know in the interior design industry, it can be a really, really lonely place as well. And when you're a single business owner and you're in the interior design industry, you almost, and I know some women, they just see all other business women as competition, regardless if they know them or not, they just see them as competition and it's almost back up against the wall mentality and

Obviously this is why I've been so passionate about starting Design Boss Diary because it's about community, inclusion, tribes of women supporting one another, empowerment and bringing single business owners together so that they don't feel like they're on their own. So when they have these situations, everyone can all club together, all support each other. So it is a massive lesson is don't be on your own.

in these situations either.

Samantha Hearne (27:01.65)
For sure. And also as well, when you're in a job where you do it on your own, you you're a business owner, you run your own business, it can be quite easy to feel protective. It can be very easy to feel protective over what you're doing. And I think what's important is everyone is an adult and everyone has self-efficacy. So you can, you have the ability to know who to trust and who to connect with.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (27:14.828)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (27:27.42)
And sometimes people are sent to give us lessons, you know, we trust them and then it doesn't work out and that's okay. But what's really important is that you give yourself the chance to be supported. That's a skill. You give yourself the chance for someone to look after you, to see you, to support you. So I think that's the most important thing. You don't ever want to close yourself off to support, to close yourself off to that. And the person that closes themself off is going to be the person that's left alone.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (27:33.346)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (27:55.296)
and then that reinforces. Whereas if you do open yourself up and you realize actually you could have interior design businesses, friends, and they're based in Scotland, that has absolutely no bearing on you in Surrey. So you could be friends with people that do what you do, that are nowhere near you, that also have a different specialism, that focus on bathrooms, that focus on living rooms, that focus on paint work, that focus on color. Like, you you can...

Within your business, you will be able to find people that you trust that want to be your peers and biz besties that do nothing but bring enrichment to your life. And it's not about competition. And every business owner is also savvy enough to understand that. Like, what do you want from a business peer and a business friend? It is connection, it is togetherness, it is collaboration. And if you ever did feel like there was a misalignment or there was a competition there,

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (28:29.674)
Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (28:47.254)
then that's where you draw boundaries. know, like, want us to be able to be friends, but maybe we don't cross business. We're all adults, but give yourself a chance to risk and experience that. Don't feel like you can't explore friendships because of what you do. You know, that's, you don't want your business to isolate you.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (28:52.898)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (29:03.126)
Yeah.

Yeah. And I think it's so important the within that whole building your peers, biz besties, you know, whatever industry you're in. I know with me, I have a couple of clients at the moment that are maybe like 20 minutes down the road from me. They're both on the same patch of territory in terms of the town. And even I would be considered a designer for that patch as well.

So there's three or four of us. But actually, when you are completely content within your business and within yourself, and you know that there's enough chimney pots and you have your own niche and you've niched down, you almost build a resilience to that as well because you understand and know that this is my business, I'm successful in my own right, but I can have peers around me.

even if they are close to me, but it does come down to, like you say, we're all adults, it's understanding what you want from a peer. And I heard a really good saying once, I think it was in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, and she was saying, if you have some, isn't she just, if I had a dinner party, I think Oprah would be there, just for like the guest speaker. And it's...

Samantha Hearne (30:27.808)
Yeah, she's a great one.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (30:33.032)
You can't have someone close in your tribe as a business bestie that's going to get jealous of you because you need women that when you have success they're going to cheer you on, rise you up, really praise you for it and when you're down in the gutters they're going to lift you up and walk you through to see the light again.

You can't have people that are really, really jealous within that situation, but then it comes down to understanding and knowing who your peers are and how to pick them out.

Samantha Hearne (31:07.18)
100 % and that and give yourself the chance to explore that. You know, like just explore and if you end up in an environment where they're not your people, that's okay. You know, like I this year decided I was going to go to one in-person thing a month. That was one of my goals for 2024 because obviously 22, 23 I was pregnant and had a small baby. So I did do a lot less of that. And actually

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (31:11.563)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (31:33.81)
it has made a difference because I've been around some people that I really really love and some people that aren't quite my flavour and I'm probably not theirs and that's okay but you're never gonna know that until you put yourself in those rooms that experience and that's all also something as kids we would encourage so if you have got kids you're like right let's go to a new club let's go to start a new thing we're gonna do a new hobby make new friends we encourage it all the time and then what as soon as we get to 30 it's like no I don't want friends so I just think you know

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (31:54.689)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (32:01.995)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (32:03.7)
You do want to be able to just explore that, don't you? Sometimes people are your people and sometimes they're not, but having exposure to people is still better than thinking you have to do everything on your own.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (32:14.634)
Yeah and like you say going back to accepting support and help as well within that within your people and it's not seen as a weakness it's actually seen as a massive strength.

Samantha Hearne (32:23.02)
Yeah.

Samantha Hearne (32:29.172)
Of course. And that's the other thing. Everyone wants that. You know, like we all want that. So if you want it, so does someone else. So if you both want the same thing, you've got an aligned desire. So, you know, that's half the battle. Now you just need to find the people.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (32:41.9)
Yeah.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (32:45.376)
Yeah, you need to go out and get them.

Samantha Hearne (32:48.575)
Exactly right.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (32:50.178)
I've loved today's conversation. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast and having a chat. it's been so lovely. Thank you. Now I've really enjoyed it and I hope that and I'm sure today's listeners will take so many nuggets of little snippets of information and support and advice from what you've said for their businesses going into 2025. So a huge thank you.

Samantha Hearne (32:56.182)
Thank you so much for having me.

Lisa-Marie Elkhadraoui (33:18.622)
Once again, thank you so much for coming onto today's podcast.

Samantha Hearne (33:20.831)
Okay.